A testimony, A Faithful God

I like to share this testimony this week. Hoping that someone will be touched or someone in trouble will find light to there problem. This was mailed to me by a reader and I have put up the article since i know the person involved

There was a dark day in my life, a few months ago, when I came to know that my pregnancy is actually terminated, and that they would either wait for a natural expulsion or would proceed with the D&C. I cannot tell you what exactly I felt. This was the second time it was happening, I had felt that everything would go very natural and finally my dreams would take wings and I will finally have what I wanted. But listening this from the doctor made me numb for a while. Truly, my head was blank for some time. Yet I tried hard not to get bitter at god, for I knew that He just CAN’T make mistakes. I tried so hard and then made a very conscious effort and sang

‘count your blessings, name them one by one,

count your blessing see what god has done,

count your blessings name them one by one,

and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

And yet to be very frank, nothing seemed to make any sense. Came home and just felt this big darkness wrapped around me and I think for the first time, heard the ticking of the clock so loudly and the silence and the loneliness frightened me like no other time. I felt small, weak and helpless. And when the whole world was being intoxicated at the entrance of a new year, I went through what science terms as ‘inevitable abortion’. It was hard, real hard to go through all that, even before you have time enough to think clearly about the events that are occurring. And if you thought, I have penned this down to bring clouds of utter disappointment into your life, I am sorry! I am writing this to say that this is what I have felt or this is what I had to go through to make sure that I completed one act of the page of the big drama that my Creator intended for me. But that is over there, the pain or the painful memory might come across my mind once in a while or may be more that that. But, when I struggled, when I cried, when nothing seemed to matter or made any sense, the Word of God, which we call the Bible made a lot of sense to me. I knew for real then, what it was to ‘cast all our cares upon Him’, or to really ‘hide under the shadow of the Almighty’ or the truth hidden in the word that ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’. And most of all when I went through that terrible pain, I really felt my Jesus, my Savior, standing next to me. May be when I say I felt it, may not be a real word, I KNEW. And then I knew I was not alone. And in all these times God was speaking to me and kept on reassuring that this pain was for more grace and I have to just trust Him.

Days have passed, yes I do feel human sometimes, and yet……and yet, God’s faithfulness has not changed. His love, mercy, compassion, loving kindness and all that is His nature has not ceased. He is right beside me when I need a place to lean on and ever beside me to guide me with His wisdom. If any out there, is going through times which you think it hard for you NOW, it is because - like me, you don’t see the other side. So we just have to let go and trust this wonderful god to do the sailing, for He knows the waters well. I think our days should be better spent in reviewing our self and to work towards making ourselves the better person our Creator expects us to be. It is wise not to hang on to silly things and to lose our peace and joy, and think that we know it better. If god wills that you have it, He will let it flow your way. For He never withholds goodness and mercy from His children, all that is expected out of us at the same time is to seek His kingdom and His righteousness and yet even if it takes time further for things to fall our way……just understand only this much, the biggest Potter is in the business of making a special vessel out of you. We should rather be in His hands than enjoy the momentary fickleness of this world. It is always best to wait for God to give His very best than crave like the world to settle for what appears to be ‘just good’. Jesus will come soon and if He wants you to enjoy certain things in this world He will give it, if not, how much more consoling is the reality that we can be with our Lord for eternity!

Pain, sickness, disappointment are all part of this fallen world. Let’s stop blaming Adam & Eve for what they did in garden Eden. Let’s be rejoicing in the fact that the curse of hell is broken, for a Precious King hung on the cross in our place, for one and all. Let’s not just be saved for a day, but let us experience salvation day by day and find new realms of peace that God has in store for us, for His word clearly says (Col. 3: 15) “and let the peace of God rule in our hearts, to which also you were called in one body” or as it says (Phi 4:6), to be anxious for nothing, but leave it all to Him and then to experience His peace. This formula applies all the time not just when we pray for those who are mourning the dear one’s death! Let’s not become shortsighted with the trivialities but let’s be determined to explore the very nature of God, for it is really time that we agree that we don’t know Him. Just as Job correctly says “we have only heard about Him”. To put it short, let’s admit that we know ‘about’ Him, and that as each day unravels we will know one nature of god, for He is like a diamond that shines from all angles. And all that our Creator has in store for us, even the tough moments, let’s embrace it for James says “count it all joy when you fall into various trials” and as Paul says “endure afflictions” for our soul is made perfect and drawn close to our Real Source of life through these times.

May God bless you all richly.